unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
