Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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