I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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