Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
