just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
