I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize