After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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