It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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