she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just google imaged poop.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
