That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize