Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
