It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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