im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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