Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
