i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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