I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
