Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
