dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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