Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
