Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Hippo gnu deer
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
