Capitaan dildo arrescate!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
