Is it because I queefed?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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