i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Who died my cat blue again?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
