sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
