please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Bring me that man meat
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
