There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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