Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
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