He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
