I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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