i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
