I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
