Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
