I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
