kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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