I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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