Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
