meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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