Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize