I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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