Dual....:-)
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
