I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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