she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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