Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize