soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
