yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
