Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i wish my penis had a tongue
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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