If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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