Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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