I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
