Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
