Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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