I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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