The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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