You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
