Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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