Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He felt like a one man threesome
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize