Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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