The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
